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Friday, April 27, 2012

5 mistakes you should try to avoid when preparing for your wedding.

By Shawn Asala

1.     Trying to do everything by yourself

As much as possible, try to hire the services of an experienced wedding planner to plan all the little and big details of one of the most important days of your life. Thinking you can take time out to execute all your plans and cross out all the ‘to-dos’ on your list is actually a million times easier than actually doing it. A wedding planner, when properly motivated is fully committed to making sure your wedding is a success; not just because you are paying him or her, but also because your wedding planner has a reputation and a business to protect, and will therefore do all he or she possibly can to create a beautiful wedding for you. If you can’t afford a wedding planner, then either pull together a committee of friends to plan your day, or get one of your friends who you know is talented at planning and pays excellent attention to detail. This will save you a lot of headache and enable you to avoid mistake number two, which is…

2.     Getting carried away by your wedding plans and forgetting to enjoy yourself on the way

Oh yes, this can and does happen a lot. Some brides (and grooms) get so anxious about their wedding, so scared of things going wrong, that they spend most of their precious time fretting over things like the style of their wedding dress, the color themes of the wedding, prices they are being charged for photography or hall decorations.
In fact, this is what causes a lot of couples to bicker and fight all the way to their wedding day. And you know what? When all is said and done and they are on their honeymoon, they will look back and wonder why they got so worked up in the first place. Because you see, most of the things you worry about in preparing for a wedding are not such big deals after all.
So take time out to relax, play, drop by on friends and family and do all the things you usually love to do.

3.     Choosing the wrong people to do certain things

Weddings are such important events involving family and friends, that a lot of times it is easy to get sentimental in assigning tasks. I know many couples who have confessed that they wouldn’t have asked so and so, to be their best man or chief bridesmaid, not because they don’t deserve to be, but because the people they chose were just not able to do what was expected.
Another example is making 3 year old Tayo the little bride because she is your sister’s first daughter, when at the back of your mind you know that Tayo will begin throwing tantrums during the wedding if she is not getting enough attention.

Or asking your old pal George, to provide his Toyota jeep as one of the wedding cars, when you know George never fails to hit up the club on Friday night, and will most likely wake up with a bleeding hangover on Saturday morning.
When assigning tasks, choose the right person. You may end up being wrong, but do make the effort to be right!

4.     Under budgeting for photography and video

I often tell my clients: of all the things going into a wedding, the only thing you are taking home is the wedding album, video, and the wedding gifts. Every other thing vanishes after the special day is over.
A typical wedding budget may look like this:
Venue/Hall: N120, 000
Decorations: N200, 000
Food and drinks: N1, 000,000
Photography and video: N80, 000 – N100, 000
I can tell you from the little experience I have gathered, with that amount, you most likely will get only an average quality wedding album which you will be disappointed with. Why spend almost a million naira on food that will only pass through the gullets of your guests, many of whom are complete strangers to you, and pay a meagre sum to someone tasked with capturing all those special moments you want to treasure for the rest of your life?
Do try to change that budget. Remember the easiest way to be unhappy is to try to please everyone but you. If a photographer charges you say N200, 000 for wedding photos, and another N100, 000 for a high quality professionally edited video, don’t scream at him and say, “Is it not just photography?” I tell you from experience, there are photographers, and then there are Photographers!

5.     Being too casual about your wedding plans

For those of you reading who are married, you will agree that there is nothing about marriage that is casual or off-the-cuff. Before you even made that decision, it took a lot of meditation, planning, investigation, soul searching and prayers.
You should take the same approach to your wedding day. I know the guilty culprits here are usually the men. They leave it all to the bride to fuss about the little details. Not forgetting mistake number 2 (above), you should take your wedding plans seriously. To the guy, do try to pay attention when she is running through het list of to-dos and try not to sleep off!
Take time to pray hard towards it. Take time to plan the work and work the plan. Take time to inform family members, visit those friends, get familiar with the officiating ministers and pastors and visit the venues.
If you don’t, after the wedding you will find yourself saying things like: “Now how did we forget to inform Aunty Bisi about our wedding?”; “If only we had known we would have checked the venue before paying for it”; “maybe we should have hired a wedding planner instead of trying to do it all ourselves”; “You should have left the bachelors eve party on time instead of showing up half drunk for your own wedding!!”

Well there it is guys. I hope these few tips of mine struck a chord or two. While you digest this, remember to click this link to our Facebook page and ‘Like’ the page, to get connected with our updates on Facebook. Take some time to also look through earlier posts on this blog. I would LOVE to read your comments!

Remain Inspired!